five. 

Do you know how much I love you? Probably not, with all the shouting I seem to be doing recently. 

You turned five two weeks ago, and declared to me and your Daddy that since you were now a “big girl” there was no need for us to worry about you anymore. 
I smiled inside as I told you that I believed you. That I knew that it was so true that big girls like you can look after themselves, that big girls like you are strong and brave and so very clever. And I smiled as I told you that you might just need to keep me around for a little while longer though, because whilst you might not need me anymore, now that you’re five and all…I still need you. 

And how true that is my darling girl. 

I need your smiles. 

I need your cuddles. 

I need your laughter. 

I need you. 

You see, I think I’ll always need you my love. To remind me how precious life is and to keep me going when times get tough. 

Five. 

Gosh, I can’t believe that you’re five already! 

I looked back through my old posts the other day and found four. My letter to you from one whole year ago. And whilst the shock that yet another year has gone by already is still the same (about as bad as finding that additional wrinkle on my face, or your Daddy pointing out a grey hair in the back of my head!), and the question “how did we get here already?!” remains…somehow five doesn’t seem too bad. 

You are reading. So brilliantly. 

You are writing. So neatly (massive brownie points from your neat freak mother there!). 

You sing at the top of your voice and you don’t care who hears you. 

You twirl and skip whenever you can. 

You love your brother so fiercely, and probably wish he didn’t exist so fiercely too! 

You are becoming you. 

And it’s a thrill. 

It’s bloomin hard work, because you’re stubborn as a mule and so very opinionated, but you make life better.  You make everything better. 

So, from one pain in the backside to another…welcome to being five. I hope it’s all you dreamed it would be. I hope you learn so much and dream so big. 

Happy Birthday Ruby Roo. 

I love you so much, forever and a day, xxx

now you are two.

It’s such a cliche to say that I can’t believe how quickly time has flown by. But it’s the absolute truth.

I think, in all honesty, that time actually seems to have gone by faster with Henry than it ever did with Ruby.

And all I find myself wanting to shout is “SLOW DOWN!”.

True, there are some days that I wish time would go faster so I can get home from another day at work/get them to bed because they are behaving like beasts/have some time on my own for once…but the vast majority of the time I wish it would just slow down.

It’s already been a week since Henry’s second birthday, and I wanted to mark the occasion properly on my blog last week but, as usual, I just didn’t get the time.

So here it finally is, some thoughts on our son…now that he is two.

Monday’s child is fair of face…

You were born on a Monday. Monday 4th May 2015, at 2.15pm.

And whilst you looked more like a smushed up, puffed up frog when you were first born than a glorious beauty, you have always been incredibly fair of face my love.

There are so many different things that I could say to you, now that you are two. But the one thing that I want to say most of all is how proud I am of you.

You have been through so much in your short little life so far, yet you still manage to smile and laugh and charm your way through the days. Like nothing ever happened to you. I hope this zest for life and your fighting spirit follows you though the rest of your days – because you will go far, my son, if it does.

Whenever you’re being an absolute devil-child (throwing food around screaming that you “like it” which, for you, means that you don’t/hitting your sister/throwing yourself out of your cot/terrorising the cat etc. etc.)¬†I sigh and think back to the time we nearly lost you. To when you were so tiny and so poorly. And I remember that we are lucky to still have you (and that I am a short-tempered, overreacting, strop-monster that needs to take a step back and remember that you’re just a two year old!).

I love how you chuckle. That whole body shake chuckle that shows you find something really funny. I love how your face paints a thousand words, and the cheeky expressions you pull – especially when you know you’re not meant to be doing something! I love the way you poke your belly button and giggle. I love your obsession with blueberries. I love how much you actually love your sister. I love how you snuggle into my neck. I love the nicky noo noo dance you do with Ruby. I love how you love to play!

Time is indeed flying by, but with each and every day that passes you become so much more to us.

And if time has to carry on whizzing by, then so be it. At least we have you here with us, and at least we’re trying everything we can to make the very best of each day with you and your sister.

So my little man…if nothing else, then please remember this. You have brought such joy into our lives. You have made our family complete, and we love you so so very much.

Keep on being cheeky. Keep on being so happy you could burst. Keep on babbling about nothing in particular yet making it sound like the most important words anyone has ever uttered. Keep on laughing at your sisters jokes. Keep on secretly stealing fruit from the fridge.

Keep on being you.

Our Henry.

We love you.

four.

Our four year old is in bed after a thoroughly wonderful day.

How is it that we have a four year old? How is it that our baby is suddenly a little girl? How, when I can remember her birth like it was yesterday (all 32 hours of it), is she now a walking talking miniature version of the person she will eventually become?

Sure, I know how time works. I know that there have been 1,461 days since she bounded into the world all scrumpled and baggy-skinned, screaming and eyeing me up with her amazingly beautiful eyes that were so dark they looked purple. I know that there have been 3 other birthdays…one where she didn’t have a clue what was happening and hid under the table, another where she was happy to eat aaaaallll the cake and last year’s family, at home party,¬†where she actually really would have liked a “proper party mummy”. All of them have been equally as baffling to me as this one and, sadly, I know¬†that time will never, ever, stand still.

I often find myself wishing that it would though. Find myself wishing for a second that I could capture her and keep her just the way she is now for eternity. Or re-wind to soft, yummy baby snuggles, cheeky first words and big, beaming smiles from the side of her cot when I went into her room and scooped her up each morning. I wish. I wish. I wish.

We had a wonderful day today. The joy she radiated was infectious.

“I’m four now!” she beamed. So excited. So unaware of anything wrong with the world we live in. So completely thankful for every single present and every single¬†card she received. Sharing her presents with her baby brother, and enjoying seeing him have fun with her balloons (until she wasn’t anymore, and then he got told off!).

A day full of smiles and laughter (and ice-cream) with a lovely little friend that I hope she’ll have for life.

Maybe I shouldn’t wish to keep her just as she is after all. For what would I miss out on if I did? All the joy inside her that is still to come. All the smiles, laughs and stories (oh the stories!). All the stresses, tears, tantrums.

No. Let me¬†just enjoy every single second of it all and relish in the anticipation of¬†what’s still to come. And try to remember this when the latter is more prevalent than the former!!

Four.

The start of brand new adventures.

What’s your next adventure going to look like? Let me know!

Speak soon x