screaming.

Does anyone have the instruction manual for a child? Mine is lost and the volume control is broken!

I am at the end of my tether.

Actually about to burst, run away or surgically remove my ears to get away from it.

What’s the ‘it’? I hear you say.

The ‘it’?

The ‘it’ is the almost constant ear piercing shriek of my five and a half year old. And the copycat that is her little brother.

No matter what the situation, be it happy and jolly or blood pressure raising, the volume is off the scale.

You can hear her from down the street as you walk up the path after a long day at work.

You can hear her screaming when she is in the car and you are in the house.

You can even hear her when you are fully submerged under the bath water trying to (drown yourself) relax after yet another jam packed weekend.

I kid you not.

I don’t know how teachers cope.

Do they end up deaf at a really young age? Permanently popping Ibuprofen to get rid of the constant headache caused by 30+ immensely loud small people every single day?

I used to want to be a teacher.

I think I have changed my mind based on this factor alone – the endless mounds of paperwork and targets would be a breeze in comparison!

I cannot recall the exact number of times I have asked for less noise, the use of an “inside voice” or even as simple an instruction as no screaming. But these phrases are certainly a major part of my repertoire, and quite frankly I am fed up of it.

I am a nag.

I am a bore.

All for the want of a life without a permanent headache.

Is there a point when the incessant screaming stops? Please tell me that there is, and that it’s soon!

In the meantime, share your tales of woe and tips of wonder with me…please!

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five. 

Do you know how much I love you? Probably not, with all the shouting I seem to be doing recently. 

You turned five two weeks ago, and declared to me and your Daddy that since you were now a “big girl” there was no need for us to worry about you anymore. 
I smiled inside as I told you that I believed you. That I knew that it was so true that big girls like you can look after themselves, that big girls like you are strong and brave and so very clever. And I smiled as I told you that you might just need to keep me around for a little while longer though, because whilst you might not need me anymore, now that you’re five and all…I still need you. 

And how true that is my darling girl. 

I need your smiles. 

I need your cuddles. 

I need your laughter. 

I need you. 

You see, I think I’ll always need you my love. To remind me how precious life is and to keep me going when times get tough. 

Five. 

Gosh, I can’t believe that you’re five already! 

I looked back through my old posts the other day and found four. My letter to you from one whole year ago. And whilst the shock that yet another year has gone by already is still the same (about as bad as finding that additional wrinkle on my face, or your Daddy pointing out a grey hair in the back of my head!), and the question “how did we get here already?!” remains…somehow five doesn’t seem too bad. 

You are reading. So brilliantly. 

You are writing. So neatly (massive brownie points from your neat freak mother there!). 

You sing at the top of your voice and you don’t care who hears you. 

You twirl and skip whenever you can. 

You love your brother so fiercely, and probably wish he didn’t exist so fiercely too! 

You are becoming you. 

And it’s a thrill. 

It’s bloomin hard work, because you’re stubborn as a mule and so very opinionated, but you make life better.  You make everything better. 

So, from one pain in the backside to another…welcome to being five. I hope it’s all you dreamed it would be. I hope you learn so much and dream so big. 

Happy Birthday Ruby Roo. 

I love you so much, forever and a day, xxx